The journey of a Stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) of Twins.

“Being a mother of twins is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”

I must admit that being a SAHM is tough. This is a fact. A stay-at-home mom juggles between multiple roles of a cook, nurse, teacher, friend, mentor, housekeeper, daycare provider, financial analyst all rolled into one sleeve. We become experts in multitasking. There is always something to do. There are no time-offs. It gets more challenging when you have twins with different personalities. You are working 24/7/365 days with no vacation and no sick leave.

I often say to myself, ” I am JUST a stay at home mom”. Since my school days, I was always a good student, I had lots of dreams about my career like everyone and I knew that I had it in me. When I was a teenage girl, I used to tell my mom that I would never be a full-time mom, I would proudly say that I would be an independent working mom, have my financial freedom that a career affords. We can never predict what life will throw at us. Change is all around us. Priorities shift with time. So, did mine………

“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—family, health, friends, integrity—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”– Gary Keller, founder of Keller Williams Realty International.

It was the time that I had to choose between pursuing my career or give 100% of my time and energy to my kids for their better present and future. It’s a critical decision in any mom’s life. I had the choice to work and advance my career, by compromising my kid’s personal fulfillment, love, nourishment, emotions and live a miserable life without getting to watch my kid’s special moments; Always wondering, Are my kids okay? Are they being well taken care of? Is the cost of childcare worth it? This thought changed my view of our little world and literally changed my life. I chose to be a full time stay at home mom and give my best for my kids. Now when I look at me and my family, I see that my kids are happy, well behaved and well-nourished. Of course, it was a hard decision, but this would not have been possible without my supportive husband who made me realize that my education is not wasted. I don’t have to go outside to work. He encouraged me that I have the ability in me to do something extraordinary and think outside the box. I could teach kids, start an online business, share my experiences through blogging, etc. The opportunities are endless.

Most of us would admit questioning our choice to become SAHM. Those of us who had planned to continue with careers after giving birth might also have worried over whether we would be as committed to our careers. It was not easy for me to let go of my years of dedicated and hard-earned education and experience and be a stay at home mom. But life is all about taking risks. It’s OK to make another choice. I gave up pursuing a career to make things happen. It was not planned. It happened, and I accepted it. My life with my kids is rich—richer than fearing the loss of my own identity. Kids grow up fast, I can never get the lost time back. Taking care of my kids is the best investment of my time. Family is the one I live for.

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take” – Cardinal Mermillod.

7 years ago, I moved overseas after I got married. I started working, just 2 weeks after arriving. I was very excited and happy to start working. Then we had an exciting news- I was pregnant. Oh! guess what? another thrilling news, we were having TWINS. I was in tears when the ultrasound technician asked me “Do you have any twins in your family? I said NO. Then she said, you are going to start a new trend in your family; you are having Twins. I was like NO WAY. I did not believe it until I saw two little beans in my ultrasound. As you can expect I was overjoyed and was in tears. I was super thrilled to give this exciting and surprising news to my husband. When I came out of the room and told my husband that we are having twins, he said “NO WAY, it’s not funny. I know you are kidding, that’s not true”. We were worried about being able to provide everything for our 2 little cupcakes. We looked at each other and said, “Sometimes miracles come in pairs”.

When you gaze upon the lovely sight. Of twins, arm in arm, asleep at night. Think not that the house has been doubly messed. But that you, as parents, have been doubly blessed- Jon Bratton

I worked till 6 months into my twin pregnancy. Me being a tiny woman, it was hard for me to work for longer hours. I would come home with sore feet every day after work, lots of heartburn, there were times when I fainted due to low Iron which made me decide to quit my job. I was very happy with my decision because I was getting a lot of rest and was getting more time to take care of myself. My husband respected my decision and stood by me like a rock.

When my twins were born it was one of the best days of my life. I was overwhelmed with lots of emotions. The feeling that I have two brand new beautiful babies to cuddle in my arms who were inside you for 36 weeks. They were so tiny, precious, beautiful, innocent and delicate little troopers. Those tiny innocent babies took away all my worries. I felt complete.

The first 2 years of our life with the twins were busy, chaotic and with lots of surprises. I used to google for information and also asked my doctor lots of questions because every minute was challenging, and we were learning new things. There were times I felt overwhelmed, isolated and lonely, especially since we did not have any immediate family to give us an extra hand. My house was never clean, there were piles of stinky diapers in the corners, cans of formula in the closet, dirty milk bottles in the sink. 95% of my first years with twins, I spent in the bedroom. We used to co-sleep during the first years with my twins. My twins were just around 4 lbs each, so the doctor wanted them to gain weight. I had to feed them every 3 hours. Both of my babies had trouble eating due to acid reflux. There were times when I did not shower for weeks. Being on a single income, it was hard to pay for a babysitter. There were people to give us lots of advice, but no one was there to help. I felt exhausted but I was dedicated to giving the best for my kids. With a positive mindset, hard work and patience we conquered all the challenges and problems. Dedicating the majority of my time with kids has helped me to know what they need. They make you a strong and better person physically and mentally. They teach you that it’s not only about me, but it’s about us. They teach us the purpose of our lives. They teach you to believe in ourselves and never give up.

“The most important phase of a child’s life was the beginning of it. He must be started right.” – Caroline Pratt.

Years passed by, now when I look at my 6-year olds, I take pride and remember how far I have come. I did not waste anything, I did not miss anything, instead, I am proud that I chose my kids over my career. I am happy that I did not miss any moments in my kid’s life. It’s rewarding to watch my 2 surprise bundles grow into 2 beautiful, curious and courteous little people. They never fail to amaze me. Every moment with them is fun and hilarious. They are always ready to give a helping hand. I am glad that I chose to have these memories to cherish. Now I joke around with my husband, that we won the lottery 6 years ago; I think we should keep buying a lottery ticket, maybe we might win.

I feel happy and proud of myself, when my kids ask me, “Why are we never late for school?” “Why is our house always clean?” ” I learn everything from my mommy”; “Mommy teaches us many good things”. “I want to stay home today and learn from mommy”. “I love you, mommy”. These small moments make me realize that all my hard work has paid off. I am proud to call myself a stay at home mom, raising the next generation of leaders and innovators with values.

“The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift. To come – unguarded, undistracted – and be fully present, fully engaged with whoever we are with at that moment.” – John Eldredge.

I feel my every second being SAHM is worth it when I hear from their teachers and other parents that I have beautiful and well-behaved kids, even one teacher suggested, I write a book about parenting. I feel happy that I don’t miss my kid’s school concerts. I feel happy when I can give them 24/7 when they are sick. I feel relieved when I don’t have to look for a babysitter when the school calls for snow-day or emergency school closures.

I don’t intend to bash any working mom. Every mom is giving her best to her kids whether you are SAHM or a working mom. Every family has different choices based on their circumstances. As I tell my kids- “Everyone’s life is different, don’t judge what you don’t understand”.

To conclude I take pride in choosing a well-dignified job as being a stay at home mom. At the end of the day, never doubt your decision about being a SAHM, it’s your choice, don’t worry what the world thinks about you. You don’t have to prove yourself to anybody.

“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think”. ~ David Icke.